I never learn

12 March, 2009

Today I was painfully reminded that that biking as fast as possible around corners when it’s wet is inadvisable.

It was the same *&^%ing corner too! What was that, Glynn, about PhDs and common sense?

I picked myself up and wandered into the main restaurant in search of some plasters. Granted, I probably looked a mess. What I didn’t quite expect was to be covered in an entire first aid box’s worth of dressings by enthusiastic staff and then bundled into an ambulance by three firemen and taken to A&E for stitches and a tetanus injection and to be interrogated by at least five different people on whether I had lost consciousness at any point. Ok, so I hit my head a bit, but I’m pretty sure I was not on fire at any point, and I only wanted some plasters!

The firemen mocked me and told me to get stabilisers. Er, fair point πŸ˜‰

Anyway, I’m supposed to be in the lab building ontologies, but before I go in to face the inevitable barrage of ‘jaysus what happened to you?’ I need to come up with a suitably badass story. ‘I fell off my bike again’ doesn’t really cut it. Any ideas? I’m thinking ninjas. Yeah, there was a ninja attack. I fought them off. Heh, you should have seen them afterwards…


  1. A raptor bike thief took a fancy to your bike?

    It has the charm of including both elements of truth and ridiculousness that will have them scratching thier heads and fearing about raptor attacks on campus. It will also make you seem badass to say you not only outwitted a bunch of chav raptors but survived with only a few cuts and bruises.

    • Awesome. I like it. Yeah, raptors ain’t so tough πŸ˜‰

      (Who would win in a fight between ninjas and raptors?)

      • Pirates πŸ˜›

      • these signs exist for a reason :p

  2. Clearly the corner is a safety hazard and should be made straight instead πŸ˜‰

    Hope you is ok, look after the bob!!

    • On closer inspection, the surface changes halfway around the bend from rough grippy tarmac to smooth slidy tarmac. Clearly the road construction is defective, and it’s not my lack of skill at all…

      Tell you what, let’s get back on the slopes so I can get this going-too-fast-around-bends thing out of my system in a relatively soft environment πŸ˜‰

  3. So…
    Were there more or less nurses this time compared to last?
    I ask only for the sake of Science!

    Also I take it your fed up of being asked if you alright so…
    Is your laptop okay?

    Have you considered cocconing yourself and your possesions in Kevlar?

    • Last time no medical attention was required. This time, a full cast of concerned passers-by, first-aiders, firemen, receptionists, my head of school who happened to be in the restaurant, nurses, doctors and a medical student with a syringe (happily he knew what he was doing!)

      Laptop is fine (phew), bike is miserable, road is… colourful 😦

      Also: ambulances don’t have windows and I’m not familiar with the hospitals of Dublin, so I got to use the immortal line “er (blink)… where am I?” πŸ˜€

  4. Firemen bundled you into an ambulance? You need to work on that bit:

    Having survived the raptor attack unscathed, astronauts bundled you into a 1968 Triumph TR5 driven by Steve McQueen, who took you to the Batcave. Under questioning, you convinced DI Sherlock Holmes that Nelson Mandela was responsible for the 1883 eruption of Krakatoa, and then made your escape in a Sopwith Camel. Unfortunately, while landing on the artificial rugby pitch in good time for your class, you were caught in crossfire as Sharpe’s men ambushed Napoleon exiting the sports centre, and suffered several nasty musket wounds.

    Well, that’s what I heard, anyway.

    • Yeah. Well, you know, all in a day’s work studying at UCD. Someone had to save those kittens…

  5. I reckon you were attacked by a gang of Newtonian mechanics! Perhaps a little revision is in order….


    However, in the short term I expect medicinal chocolate is called for.

    • “Insufficient friction”? Oh, there was plenty of friction 😦

      Mmm, chocolate πŸ˜€

  6. Don’t do that. You have been told. If your own safety isn’t a compelling enough reason… only think how you would feel if laptop had gone clunk.

    Sorry your bike is squiffy… glad you and laptop are generally okay πŸ˜€

    • Aieieieie! Noooo! *huggles laptop* I’m sorry 😦

  7. Hi, Mikey here, hope you get better. Tonight I drrank to your health with the last Irish ale πŸ™‚ It was a fine lookin’ ‘red’ hoppy ale. πŸ˜‰

    • Cheers!

      Oi, that’s not your website…

  8. yeah don’t damage yourself to much. You are the only person i know with the duct tape skills to patch yourself back up correctly.

    • Sadly, wetware is one of the few things that cannot be repaired with duct tape 😦

  9. […] Recovering from the, uh, raptor attack. […]

  10. […] the one where I was attacked by a velociraptor […]

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